Must See TV - Tonight 9pm

Categories: politics, humor, games, news
Seeing as how George W. Bush is going to commandeer our televisions tonight, I thought I might give you the option of making it fun. Here is a link to a game to be played during the State of the -- my State of the Union -- or state -- my speech to the -- nation, whatever you wanna call it, speech to the nation. You will need a few adult beverages to play along.

Here are a few of excerpts to give you an idea of how many adult beverages you are going to need:

4. If George W makes up a word like "strategerie" or "deteriorize," drink four shots of beer.

5. If George W speaks of Hamas and repeats his earlier statement that "it's good to see people are demanding honest leadership," the first person to stop laughing gets to drink one shot of beer then pummel Suit with empty shot glass. No head shots.

12. Whenever George W smirks during a standing ovation, take turns drinking shots of beer until the audience sits down. Do it double time if his shoulders shake with silent laughter.

Enjoy your night.

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Can we enforce the death penalty on this?

Categories: stupid, humor, news, law
This entry is comes straight from Fark. A Tennessee man is facing felony reckless endangerment charges for a bit of bad driving that caused him to run a fellow driver off the road. What caused him to lose focus? At the time of the incident he was paging through pornographic magazines.

Not to be outdone, two brothers in Texas were given a misdemeanor citation for having an obscene display in public. This incident took place in a McDonald's drive-thru, when a woman in the car behind the two brothers noticed they were watching porn on their flip-down DVD mobile theater system, and then called the police.

The death penalty might be a little too harsh, but there needs to be some sort of serious scarlett lettering for anyone connected to traffic violations involving porn. I would even donate a portion of my taxes to pay for magnetic toppers (similar to what they use in Driver's Ed. and pizza delivery) that let everyone else on the road know that the driver of a particular vehicle was once found to have been watching porn and driving at the same time.

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cellular etiquette

Categories: japan, tech, future, news
This little device is a cellular phone jammer, a piece of technology that is quickly gaining momentum around the world. Cell jammers give owners the capability to either: perpetually block all signals within a set radius, block all signals for a set interval of time or create static and background noise loud enough to (hopefully) discourage attempted conversations with range of the jammer. The technology in these devices has primarily been developed overseas, where foreign governments acknowledge the universe previously functioned without cellular phones. The jammer pictured here retails for about $320 and jams signals with 45ft, but the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has ruled this and similar devices to be illegal. In fact any device that emits radio waves that would block signals and could potentially interfere with emergency vehicle communications is banned in the U.S.A.

Scientists at Iwate University in Morkioka, Japan have developed an alternative jamming device, which features a wood panel with nickel-zinc plating that absorbs the electromagnetic waves used by cellular phones. A prototype of that technology has been fully developed and tested, and will soon enter the retail market for about $71 using the name CX200 Portable Director II Cell Phone Jammer. The CX200 jammer looks to be about the size of a Zippo lighter, and will feature two modes of operation. One mode will allow signal blocking in 70 second intervals, while the other will create the aforementioned escalating background noise. Before it is available in the U.S., one question remains: is the CX200 illegal according the wording used by the FCC? If you look at the end result of the technology, the answer is yes. The device prevents the transmission of radio waves, and could interfere with emergency communications but, it does not do so by emitting any kind of radio waves. Instead it only absorbs the signals with a certain perimeter and prevents them from being sent or received.

My point in bringing this up is that it seems like it has gotten to the point in our country that people believe they can't exist without their cell phones. I am as guilty of this as anyone. Eighteen months ago, I did not have a cell phone and did not want one. I only got it as part of a new job, but now I wake up on weekends and my first move is to grab my phone, check for missed calls and then put it in my pocket. But unlike most people, I think I have somewhat reasonable phone etiquette. I keep my ringer volume low, turn it off during movies and try to limit my public use to text messages. Still I find myself in situations where I feel as though a reasonable expectation of atmosphere is destroyed by cellular idiocy. To be blunt: I am sick of "dude you gotta hear this"-cell phone guy, high school cell phone kid and important business call hotshot, ruining movies, restaurants or bookstores, or wasting minutes of my life as they fail to pay attention while waiting in line for a cashier. And before you even think it, let me say that the red circle with the slash and the phone picture on it does not get the job done. Why? Because everyone with a cell phone thinks that their call is an important exception to the sign.

I would have no problems if a bookstore, restaurant or Movie Theater etc. installed a cell phone jammer for the overall benefit of their customers. It should be their choice to provide the atmosphere they think consumers want. I think if a jammer can be proven to work only within a designated area, then let the consumer decide where they want to spend their money. If a restaurant has the right to declare their entire building smoke free, then I see no reason why it should be any different for cell phones. It wasn't that long ago that McDonalds and Burger King eliminated their smoking sections, and smokers have learned to adapt. As long as a business posts notices stating that their establishment "uses a device that prevents the use of cell phones", I could care less. The primary argument to be made against this is by off-duty emergency workers, doctors on call and parents of young children. But it really was not that long ago that those same groups of people were able to leave the house or office without the safety of their cellular umbilical cords. I would even argue that if there is anything we know from capitalism in the United States it is that when demand exists, it will be in somebody's interest to create a supply to meet it. If every movie theater in a city began jamming cell phones, it would not be long before one of them reversed that decision and began targeting the alienated minority of cell junkies. So why does the FCC treat the use of cellular jammers as if it is a ban on free speech, instead of what it really is, a countermeasure for noise pollution?

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This should be on Mythbusters

Categories: psa, future, news, science
Mixing acetone with gasoline can improve gas mileage according to an "engineer" at Pure Energy System News. The author, Louis LaPointe wrote the piece, and it was taken and adapted for Pure Energy System News by Sterling D. Allan and Mary-Sue Haliburton. Haliburton certainly has a name that suggests credibility, but I have no idea if it is of relation to the White House friendly Halliburton Energy Services. From where I stand it is just an article on a website, but I admittedly know nothing about internal combustion engines or the names that would be significant in studies of that and related industries. The short version of the article is that according to LaPointe, specific mixtures of acetone and gasoline can provide a 20%-35% increase in fuel efficiency. The acetone creates a lower evaporation point for the gasoline, which in turn creates a higher percentage of efficiently burned fuel. In a thirteen gallon tank, getting 26 miles per gallon, a 20%-35% increase means an extra 66-119 miles per tank which averages out between 5-9 miles per gallon. What the article doesnt cover is exactly how much an additive like acetone increases the flammability of the fuel. It mentions it, but does not put a figure on the increased probability of hazardous combustion. It is clearly not a safe idea for anyone to try as a do it yourself experiment. My interest is in the fuel company conspiracy side of the issue; finding out if this mixture could be safe enough for mass production and if it could actually slow the global rate at which we consume petroleum. I am going to keep eyes and ears out for more information on this issue, to see if there have been other studies to support this idea. Anyways, it is a fairly interesting read if you have the time. Just dont get any bright ideas and try to make this work for yourself.

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The Super Bowl

Categories: sports, opinion, humor, youtube

I pretty much hated the Pittsburgh during the whole AFC playoffs, and was really pulling for Seattle to kick the crap out of those moustache wearing, yellow and black, sausage stuffing, Steeler fan jerks. But the tide has turned, courtesy of two wonderfully mundane pieces of music that seem to summarize my stereotype of the typical Steeler fan. The first is above, the second is a stupid song about Troy Polamalu that really makes him all bark and no bite, and I think really captures the preferred method of communication in Pittsburgh: grunts and mumbles.

Click here to listen 'Polamalu-Song'

Oh yeah and by the tide has turned, I mean that if Pittsburgh winning means we get a similarly monotonous follow up song to "Here We Go", I will gladly sacrifice my own personal preference. Better yet, if that follow up is a video performed by the actual players it would make the Super Bowl Shuffle look like "Thriller". Later in the week I will link to video from the camcorder of some fans who recorded a post-game, regular season, full stadium rendition of "Here We Go" and put it on the Internet.

Added 4:19pm: It looks like they got another one, and not only is this kid destined for a stupid moustache and a lifetime of satin Pittsburgh Steelers jackets, but his name is Seven. Amazingly, his parents deny that his name was result of the emergence of Ben Roethlisberger last season, yet refuse to give credit to Seinfeld either.

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thats what I'm talking about

Categories: tech, news, science, future

Fujitec America has developed one of the smartest ideas I have read about in a while. By the way, there is no real rhyme or reason to the picture above. I was looking for a picture of a crowded elevator, found this one, and noticed there were a lot of asians in it. I was going to search for a more ethnically diverse/generic photo until I noticed the girl with the eye patch, so it stayed. I wonder if she has a story that explains it. Enjoy.

They call it the Destination Floor Guidance System (DFGS), and it is designed to make elevator travel more efficient. Fujitec has one system currently running in the Metropolitan Park West Tower in downtown Seattle, WA. Located in the lobby of the tower is a central server, networked to each of the elevators. Through a touch-screen interface users inform the server of their destination floor and the information is used to coordinate the travel path of available elevators. To state it more simply: you tell the computer you would like to go to the tenth floor and it lets you know to go stand by elevator #8 with all the other people going to your floor. There are some drawbacks, such as an increase in lobby wait time while paths are coordinated, but overall I would be far more pleased to wait 90 extra seconds in the lobby so I can avoid stopping at every floor on my way up. Fujitec has built the system in such a way that it can be retrofitted to existing elevator systems, giving every building the chance to increase elevator efficiency by as much as 30%. For an additional viewpoint on the Destination Floor Guidance System, click here for an article from the Cincinnati Enquirer.

Now that makes two developments I have covered on this blog that relate to elevators. The other was magnetic levitation. I am hoping the next great leap in elevator technology will be the dodecagonal (twelve-sided) elevator car, so everyone can stand in their own corner.

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I saw it on TV

Categories: news, law, science, television
I came across a pretty interesting article today about the negative impact the TV show CSI is having in courtrooms. At first it seemed like a ridiculous entry topic, because I only had one link, found through Fark in the Cincinnati Enquirer. As a general rule I have a bias against any news outfit labeled Enquirer, thanks to the National Enquirer tabloid. So I ran it through the search engines and found similar articles on the websites for USA Today, National Geographic and CNN. Apparently the impact of the show has many different forms, both positive and negative. Forensic science programs around the nation have seen increases in enrollment, which is thought to be partially attributed the popularity of the CSI: Las Vegas, Miami and New York. The forensic science program at West Virginia University was chosen by 13% of incoming freshman, making it the most popular field of study for the second consecutive year. This is pretty much the extent of the show's positive impact.

For detectives, lawyers and judges, questions like "aren't you going to dust that for prints?" have become the bane of their procedural existence. While the show has provided viewers with a basic education on crime scenes and forensic evidence, it has also given those viewers unrealistic expectations about the process of solving crimes. When those viewers become jurors, those expectations create significant problems. In the Robert Blake trial jurors were found to have believed witness testimony that Blake repeatedly attempted murder-for-hire schemes, but eventually sided with the defense because of a lack of DNA or fingerprint evidence. Likewise, last year in a Phoenix, AZ murder case the jury felt the need to point out to a judge that a bloody coat found in the possession of the defendant has not been tested for DNA. However, the jury failed to recognize that by admitting the defendant was present at the scene of the crime, the defense had eliminated the need for DNA testing. Jurors who watch CSI have come to expect computer modeled recreations of crimes as well as infallible fingerprint lifting off the smallest pieces of evidence. Failure to introduce these kinds of evidence at trial can be viewed as a weakness, when in reality it may not be possible or relevant to the case to do so. Conversely the presentation of some of these types of evidence can lead jurors to jump to conclusions a lawyer may not be able to successfully argue. Real life crime scene investigators have also noticed a rise in civilian CSI-related idiocy, with the phrase "that is not how they do it on CSI" being the weapon of choice.

Criminals have taken an interest in the lessons learned by CSI as well. The use of bleach to contaminate blood evidence at crime scenes has steadily risen in the five years CSI has been on the air. Some have even taken to gathering and burning evidence used in murders, bodies even, and cigarette butts which can and have been successfully tested for DNA, proving the presence of a defendant at a crime scene.

Massachusetts has begun including questions regarding the TV habits of potential jurors in their questionnaires, in hopes of counter-balancing or at least identifying potential "know-it-alls". As prosecutors and defense attorneys begin to fully understand the expectations CSI has created in court rooms, I believe they will begin to use the show's viewership as grounds for juror disqualification. Already, both sides have even gone so far as to introduce what they call "negative evidence" witnesses, to explain to jurors specifically why DNA or fingerprint evidence is either irrelevant or unavailable for a particular trial. Hopefully all of these measures will work to preserve the impartiality of juries, and when people are tried for a serious crime it well ensure that a verdict is based on more than the similarity of the crime to an episode of CSI.

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My Guilty Pleasure

Categories: television, humor,

I have a confession to make, and in case you did not notice the picture above it is going to be a doozie.

Every Friday I come home from work and change before going out for an early dinner with my roommates. This is about 4:30pm to 5:30pm EST. Typically my first move is to go up to my room, change shoes or clothes and just lay on my bed and relax. Each night I fall asleep in my room watching the 11pm reruns of Family Guy on "Adult Swim" on Cartoon Network, channel 36. So about a month ago I came home on Friday, turned the TV on and sat down to relax, and began flipping up the ladder towards ESPN. I didn't get very far. Channel 37 is Disney, where I saw this mildly interesting show about twins living in a hotel/condo building in New York. The two main characters are played by twins Dylan and Cole Sprouse, who combined their half zygotes to play Julian McGrath (the kid) in the movie Big Daddy. So I have been secretly watching "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" every Friday on the Disney channel for the last four or five weeks. Worse than that, I have recently discovered they also show it a few times during the week in the 10:30pm time slot.

I don't know what it is, but for some reason that show just has a black hole effect on me. Once I flip past the channel and see it is on, I just can't not watch it. It sucks me in! So far every episode I have seen involves some kind of badly performed dance contest or talent show and a cat fight. It also features a few staples of oddly entertaining, bad family sitcoms: the single parent (Full House), twins playing twins (Sister, Sister), the kind, advice giving random adult (Full House), the mean, plot-thwarting adult (Boy Meets World) and the noticeable lack of parenting for the main character's friends (every show on TGIF).

"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" is like a club sandwich made of the best parts of the shows I used to watch when I was fifteen...check that, eleven, and I love it. So there I said it.


Screw you for judging me.

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Countdown to Conan - 1/26/06

Categories: Conan, humor, television, youtube

Here is a deadpan delivery of James Lipton reciting lyrics from Kevin Federline's rap single "PopoZao". If you havent seen the deadpan delivery of Kevin Federline believing the song is good, just scroll down to yesterday's blog entry.

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Leave well enough alone

Categories: stupid, film, humor, news
I came across this on Fark while eating lunch. It is a fairly well detailed list of movie sequels and prequels that are either being discussed, produced or released through 2007 or 2008. It is difficult to tell from the other parts of the website how reliable this information might be, but based on searches for a random sample of five of the movies on this list (176 in all), I found them all to be backed by some variation of rumor or fact. As you can imagine the list features far more movies in the realm of Son of the Mask than it does highly anticipated sequels such as Spider-Man 3 or Batman Begins 2. My least favorite idea?... The Usual Suspects 2: Searching for Keyser Soze. Thankfully nobody is attached to star or direct at this point, and there is no estimated release date. If you want, let me know your (least) favorite idea from the list in the comments section.

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Biometric payments...worst idea ever

Categories: future, tech, science, news
Wal-Mart, Costco and other U.S. retailers are currently in the process of evaluating biometric payment software as an alternative to traditional credit and debit cards. The system works like this: Using a fingerprint kiosk at a local store, you would fill out an application to create an electronic link between your credit card, debit card or checking account and your fingerprint. In other words, your finger or thumbprint becomes what is currently the magnetic strip on your credit card. For retailers it would be a more secure method of processing payments, with the fingerprint giving them nearly undeniable proof that the correct person was present at the time of purchase. To protect consumers the initial fingerprint used to create the payment account is encrypted (scrambled) with a mathematical algorithm, which produces a checksum that is then stored in a secure database. At the time of purchase, the checksum produced by the original fingerprint encryption is verified against the checksum produced from the encryption of the new fingerprint. The encryption algorithm remains the same, so the only way in which the two checksums will match is if the fingerprints are identical. This is very similar to the process currently used for PIN-based debit transactions. The encryption standard for fingerprints, most likely to be AES, provides 128 bit security meaning the possibility of randomly matching a valid encyption checksum is 1 in 2^120 (1.33 x 10^36), which I believe means we are talking billions of quintillions (it doesn't fit on my calculator).

My problem with the fingerprinting is that it reduces difficulty of spending money. Currently I somewhat enjoy the times I am forced to really consider a small item purchase because I do not have any cash in hand. If it is something important I still could use my debit card, but otherwise I look like a jackass that puts $1.25 soda and chips on a credit card. If I leave the house with $15 and my driver's license, I know that financially, the worst-case scenario will result in me having spent $15 on something I may or may not need. Looking ahead, if biometric payments catch on and become commonplace, I will suddenly be faced with leaving the house everyday with my entire line of credit literally in my hand. In my case (and I would assume most others) the danger is not that I will go to Best Buy and come home with a $7,000 HDTV I can't afford, it is that I will buy that $10-$20 DVD, CD or accessory I don't really need, and over the course of a year tack on an extra $500 or $1000 of unnecessary expenses or debt. The ramifications for people in bars and restaurants might be be infinitely worse. What's a thumbprint in exchange for a $50 round of shots when you're drinking with friends? 40% tip? Sure. Just use your thumb to impress that waitress who is not nearly as interested as you think she is (remember, she is working not drinking).

Keep in mind this is a couple of years away, and any massive integration of biometric payments is even further than that. But at least with current credit and debit cards you have to pull it out of your wallet, hand it to somebody and worry that it somehow might get lost, misused or stolen. For me those fears act as a natural deterrent for unnecessary spending, and I find that to be strangely comforting.

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Andy Rooney is a spaz

Categories: humor, television, video, youtube

Video clips are a bit of a cop out as an entry, but sometimes you just cant avoid it.

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Top Gun

Categories: humor, video, SNL, youtube

I should probably have eBaums World as one of my favorite links but is nearly impossible to distinguish new content from old on the site's front page. This may help pad the "average time spent per visit" they show to advertisers, but if you're at work you probably dont have much time to waste. So without wasting any more, here is eBaums World's Brokeback Top Gun.

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K-Fed on MTV Raw

Categories: humor, stupid, music, youtube

I have an incredibly low tolerance for the awkward situations that arise when people with little or no musical talent try to perform. I have no problem with the really bad people on American Idol, because most of them look like they are just trying to get on TV. But when I see the mediocre people with that earnest, confident look on their face and they still suck, I have to turn it off or break eye contact (if I am watching it live). Now, I give you Kevin Federline.

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this makes sense

Categories: news, television, future, psa
I just read an article from CNNMoney about an upcoming merger of the UPN and WB networks. CBS and Warner Bros. will be forming what is tenatively called the CW network in the Fall of 2006. CW, is a horrible name and will hopefully be changed but thats not all that important. What is important is that the merger will bring together at least the popular of each network's lineup. The WB will bring "Smallville" and "Gilmore Girls" , while UPN brings "Veronica Mars" and "Everybody Hates Chris". The new network is set for about 30 hours of weekly and will be carried by 95% of the U.S. television markets. I look forward to watching "Smallville" during its regularly schedule thursday night time slot, and not the 6 p.m. friday time slot that it is currently in due to the PAX/WB shared channel in my area.

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I'm federal agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life.

Categories: television, tech, music
I am sure this has been available during the first four seasons, but I spent about 10 minutes this morning looking for the ringtone they use at CTU headquarters in 24. I found quite a few, with varying levels of quality. This one is good. This one from Yahoo! Mobile UK is excellent. Here is a shitty version, just to give you an idea of what not to get.

Here is the 24 ticking clock, which could make for an excellent shutdown noise if your phone uses one. And the accompanying fast digit beeping which could be used during startup.

If you want to check it out on your own, use a combination of these keywords: CTU ringtone, Cisco IP ringtone 24, ringtones 24.

Also, I have no idea about the validity of these sites (for purchasing) or the compatibility of these sites with U.S. phones and services providers, so buyer beware. And keep in mind that the ringtone is going to sound better and louder from your computer speakers than it will on your phone.

In weird cell phone news, I found a site advertising on Gizmodo called Pherotones. The site claims that pherotones are "a ringtone secret that makes you irresistible to the opposite sex" and provides this warning: "Phertones have the ability to transform a friend into something more". As a safeguard to anyone who dares use this audio Sex Panther, the pherotones come in male and female versions so that you can be sure to attract only your intended targets.

Now all I need is the development of pherotone AIM sounds. Bangerang Pherotones.

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Countdown to Conan 1/23/06

Categories: television, humor, Conan, youtube

Will Ferrell...Conan O'Brien...sexy leprechaun...enough said

For more information on why this link is broken, read my entries on the mounting problems for YouTube and why NBC started it.

**As always click the little play button twice and let the clip load while it's paused.**

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In my own alternate universe...

Categories: humor, opinion, news
Another Hollywood.com article reports that Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are getting married. If life truly imitates art then it will only be a matter of time before Urban wishes he could quit Kenny Chesney, and Kidman moves to a South Carolina farm with (Cold Mountain co-star and Chesney divorcee) Renee Zellweger.

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The Return of "Friends"

Categories: news, stupid, television
Could NBC be anymore desperate? According to Hollywood.com, NBC is paying $5 million to each of the six Friends stars to shoot four one-hour episodes that will air next year. It is hard to tell if that means "next TV year", which would be Fall 2006 or if that means 2007. Regardless, I won't be watching it; and they had better not screw The Office in order to fit this in.

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RIM v. NTP, 05-763 - BlackBerry Update

Categories: blackberry, news, future, tech
The U.S. Supreme Court has rejected a hearing request in the RIM vs. NTP case. According to this AP News article Intel Corp. has also gotten involved, expressing concern about the possibility for small, patent holding companies, with no means for creating products, claiming patent infringement against major corporations under the present defintions of U.S. technology patent law. Also mentioned in the article is that NTP has increased their settlement figure based on the outcome of this ruling. Previously they were asking a for 5.7% of BlackBerry sales through 2012, but that number is now 8.55%. If you want to read my original post on this topic, click here.

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Don't believe everything you read

Categories: humor, news
I came across this link and somehow despite the green onion and the fact that I read the AV Club every Wednesday, I read half of the piece and thought it was real. I am not sure which is sadder, my momentary lapse in judgement or the fact that it proves how big of a dick Sean Penn has become. I still enjoy his movies though.

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Countdown to Conan - 1/20/06

Categories: Conan, humor, youtube, video
I think I am the only person I know who happened to see this episode of Late Night. If you enjoy inappropriate laughter just press play (2 mins, 36 seconds). As always, the video will work better if you press play, then pause and let it completely download.

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Eu-google-izing the other search engines

Categories: news, tech, law, politics
I dont mean to keep posting about freedom and privacy issues like some paranoid, Oliver Stone style conspiracy theorist, but this is an important FYI for anyone searching the Internet. If you dont understand the title to this entry, you clearly dont find yourself watching Zoolander every F'ing time its on TV like I do. It doesnt quite make sense, except that I am a 100% Google guy after reading up on the information below. The other search engines are dead to me (thus the Eu-google-ly).

Here is a link to a story about Google refusing to hand over Internet search statistics to the U.S. Justice Department (USDOJ). For other perspectives, check out these publications: San Francisco Chronicle, USA Today, BBC, CNN, San Jose Mercury News. The USDOJ is asking for two items from each of the world's most popular search engines: every keyword Internet search during a one week period of the USDOJ's choosing, and a record of 1 million website addresses available in the search engine database. MSN, Yahoo and AOL have all complied with the request, though it was unclear to me at what level of cooperation. The quoted representatives (in the articles I read) for each of those companies gave an explanation along the lines of "we did not violate the privacy of our users".

The USDOJ is attempting to use this search information to show the amount of pornography available to children using the Internet. The government is trying to bring back what was originally called the Child Online Protection Act of 1998, that would require adults to register in order to view "objectionable" material on the Internet. A federal court placed an injunction on the act in 1999, and 5 years later the Supreme Court ruled it an unconstitutional violation of the First Amendment. Google maintains that in addition to potentially revealing trade secrets about their search engine, the government will also be getting search information that is completely unrelated to pornography and the Child Online Protection Act. Simply separating the pornography searches from other searches defeats the purpose of the information, since a portion of the USDOJ's argument is sure to be pointing out how the wrong combination of innocent keywords can produce pornographic results. If all the search data is turned over then the USDOJ is going to be on the "honor system" to limit their examination of that information, and given the recent disclosure of the use of domestic satellite wiretapping and the provisions of the Patriot Act it doesnt suprise me that Google is refusing to even risk violating the privacy their users.

What does surprise me is that Yahoo, MSN and AOL so willingly complied with the subpoena and failed to realize the "slippery slope" nature of handing over data gathered from millions of Americans. I think it sets a bad precedent. If the government wants to prove a legal case, then let it be their burden to gather evidence to prove their points. They should not be allowed to subpoena data gathered by uninvolved private companies without a challenge. That is why I like what Google is doing.

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Countdown to Conan 1/19/06

Categories: Conan, sports, humor, youtube,

I am going to post a link to a clip from Late Night with Conan O'Brien every day until he takes over the Tonight Show and unleashes his brilliance on the working class (earlier start time). Just over 1,000 days left to go, as he doesnt take over for Leno until 2009. This will last at least until I come across a dud.

**Note: You are better off pressing play twice right off the bat so the video is paused while it loads. Otherwise the video and audio will be way out of sync and it wont be as funny. If you do it right you should see a stationary black bar, and a light gray bar that keeps growing. Once the light gray has reached the other side of the video window, it is done loading.**

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2Pac and Osama

Categories: news, opinion, humor,
I just read that Osama bin Laden released another tape of threats against the United States. At whatever point he dies or we find him, there ought to be a parade on Pennsylvania Avenue or downtown Crawford, Texas for all to see. We just need to make sure that somehow CNN or Al-Jazeera comes away with his body so everyone can confirm his death. Otherwise we are going to end up with another 2Pac situation, with new tapes coming out every six to nine months, and me losing respect for people who wonder if he faked his own death.

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Lost in Translation

Categories: politics, sports, news, humor,
This is a couple of months old but what the hell. China is on a mission to eliminate badly translated english language informational signs all over the country. They call it Chinglish. A few years ago, in an effort to be more tourist friendly the Chinese government started posting english language signs in public parks, hospitals and railway stations. In many cases the combination of words is incoherent and the intent of the sign is impossible to comprehend. A sign posted in a palace that reads "three quarters are under water" is actually meant to let you know that "three-quarters of the park is a water surface." The Chinese have asked for help from tourists and citizens fluent in English to help save them from embarrasment when the 2008 Olympic Summer Games land in Beijing. For more Chinglish check click here and here.

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The Future of Mass Transit

Categories: tech, future, japan, science,
Magnetic Levitation (Maglev) is being explored all over the world as a cost-effective alternative for high speed train transportation. There is a very complex explanation for how eletromagnetic energy can power a train, but what it boils down to is this: it uses high powered electromagnetic attraction and repulsion to push a slightly hovering train. There are no wheels, so there is no friction between the train and the tracks. The only friction to speak of is wind resistance with the train cars. A Maglev test rail in Shanghai, China is the world first commercial high-speed Maglev train line. Passengers can travel the 18 miles from end to end at somewhere between 150mph and 268mph. Railroad trains and monorails typically derive their power from diesel engines or electricity created by burning fossil fuels. High-speed versions of these types of trains have been in use in Japan and Europe for many years. We usually refer to them as "bullet trains" for the shape of their nose. The problem with these trains is that in order to travel at the 185 mph speed they are known for, they use an enormous amount of fossil fuels to overcome energy lost due to friction. That wheel friction also creates a significant amount of noise pollution in the areas surrounding their tracks.

The Maglev technology seeks to reduce the energy consumption and noise pollution, while increasing the speed of the train to over 400 mph. At that speed at distances of less than 600 miles, a Maglev train would be a very cost and time efficient competitor to air travel. One of the issues delaying the construction of Maglev rail systems worldwide is that the technology is so radically different from existing trains that it requires its own unique network of railways. Estimates put the cost of building a Maglev train line at $30-$60 million per mile, which is right in line with the cost of building an 8-lane Interstate highway from scratch. That is great news if you live in a blossoming third world country, but I can't tell you the last time I saw an 8-lane Interstate highway being built from scratch in the United States. However, there are currently four Maglev projects being considered here in the U.S.: a 46 mile line from Pittsburgh International Airport to the east Pittsburgh suburbs, a 40 mile line from Baltimore-Washington International Airport to Union Station, Washington DC., an unspecified distance between the city of San Diego and Imperial County Airport, and the major cities of Southern California are discussing a series of Maglev lines connecting them with Las Vegas, NV.

Maglev technology is also being developed for use in elevators. I assume the Maglev elevator will also be quieter and more efficient that its hyrdaulic, electric, and counter-weight predecessors. I am not really sure who needs the quieter feature, I think there is enough uncomfortable silence in elevators. One thing it wont be, is faster. The Maglev elevator can travel 984 ft. per minute (11.18 mph), while existing high-speed elevators can travel up to 1200 ft. per minute (13.6 mph). No word on construction costs, but Tokyo expects to have one by 2008.

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Will Arnett on Conan O'Brien

Categories: Conan, humor, music, television,


For more information on why this link is broken, read my entries on the mounting problems for YouTube and why NBC started it.

Check out this video of Arrested Development's Will Arnett playing air guitar on Conan O'Brien. Between this and Gob on Arrested Development, it is impossible to take him seriously in those two episodes from the fourth season of the The Sopranos.

**Note: You are better off pressing play twice right off the bat so the video is paused while it loads. Otherwise the video and audio will be way out of sync and it wont be as funny. If you do it right you should see a stationary black bar, and a light gray bar that keeps growing. Once the light gray has reached the other side of the video window, it is done loading.**

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Federal Court says No to Crack-Berry

Categories: blackberry, law, future, tech
Back in the late 90's, during the infancy of the personal digital assistant (PDA), Research In Motion Ltd. (RIM), a Canadian wireless communications company developed the BlackBerry (pictured at left). Using a wireless data network called Mobitex, the BlackBerry provided two-way paging and email services. In 2001, the BlackBerry was upgraded to include standard mobile phone capabilities and in 2002 RIM was sued by NTP, Inc. for patent infringment.The case resulted in a $23 million judgement against RIM which they refused to pay and appealed in 2004. The appeal was rejected in March 2005 and in June the two sides reached a $450 million settlement, but then failed to finalize the details causing the deal to fall through. Now they are back in court with NTP asking a federal judge to order RIM to shut down BlackBerry services indefinitely. Currently there are approximately 3.7 million BlackBerry users in the US, a large (the largest actually) portion of those being employees of the Federal Government. NTP wants the injunction to go into effect in the next 30 days, while RIM claims it is simply not possible without crippling their business and leaving millions without service. Industry analysts suggest that after a number of victories in court, NTP has raised the settlement figure above $900 million or a lump sum payment of 5.7% of RIM sales through 2012, the year the disputed patents expire. From what I could find, NTP has never attempted to release a product that would compete with the BlackBerry or even use the services they are fighting for. According to the NTP page on Wikipedia, the company's only assets are these very valuable wireless email patents.

There are two lessons that can be learned here: First, sometimes procrastinating only makes things worse. Second, the next time you come up with a great idea, even if you do not have the means to execute that idea, take some time to consider filing it with the US Patent and Trademark Office. You never know, someone might steal it and make you a billion dollars.

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Whirlpool Kicks Ass - Gold Medal

Categories: whirlpool, news, tech, future
I found this on Gizmodo today. It is called the Whirlpool BodyBox. Normally I would find my own photo, but it was so hard to find any additional information on this thing that I am beginning to wonder if it even exists. It is not listed on the Whirlpool website and I have yet to find the approximate dimensions or a price. What I can tell you is this, the white compartment on the right is a human shower. I think the average person is supposed to be able to bathe standing inside of it. It doesnt look that big to me. In fact if you drop the soap I think you might have a difficult time picking it up, nevermind the sodomy joke. The middle white rectangle is a sink. The two circles on the bottom left are a washer and dryer, and the black rectangle above that is an 18 inch LCD screen that is used to operate this whole contraption. I hate going down two flights of stairs to do laundry, but I think this is a little excessive. Unless it can wash and dry clothes in the same time it takes to shower, I dont see a real market for it. As a combination laundry room/half bath to supplement a one bathroom house it could be very useful, but I would bet its price (unknown) will be prohibitive. Searching for more information on the Body Box lead me to the Whirlpool website, where I found two more Whirlpool appliances that will hit the market soon. I have them ranked in terms of intrigue, which appears to be inverse to their practicality.

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