Shawshank Deleted Scenes

I don't believe these are on the DVD, or perhaps they are just on a version I don't have. Anyhow its rare that you ever see deleted scenes from really great movies. It seems like by the time the film is released to theaters and praise is heaped upon the directors they don't want to be second guessed so some of these things never see the light of day. If you look at the Martin Scorsese DVDs, less than half of them include deleted scenes despite the fact that nearly every one of them is a two disc special edition.

Here are two deleted scenes from The Shawshank Redemption. Both are included in the book and in the screenplay, but the interview with director Frank Darabont mentions that they were cut to improve the pacing towards the end of the movie. I can definitely see that, but the first scene does a lot to further explain how much things have changed outside the prison, which makes Brooks' death a little more understandable.

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Competitive Horse Dancing

You haven't seen anything until you've seen a horse dancing to "Lady Marmalade". Turn up the volume to hear the horse grooving with multiple changes in melody. Seriously though, who is to blame here, the horse or the owner? This is just ridiculous.

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Transformers

Words cannot do justice to what you're about to see. Just keep in mind that the height of Transformers popularity was the mid to late 80s, so everyone you see here is probably around 25-30 years old.

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Don't Mess With Texas

Thats going to ring a little truer on September 1 of this year. Texas has passed a new law on the use of deadly force in self-defense:

The law extends a person's right to stand their ground beyond the home to vehicles and workplaces, allowing the reasonable use of deadly force, the governor's office said.

The previous Texas laws meant that you could only use deadly force to defend someone intruding into your home, but now if you get attacked in your car or office you have authorization to kill away. The new law also provides civil immunity to anyone who lawfully kills an intruder. Lastly, in case you weren't already aware the AP article finishes the article with this:

It is easy to acquire guns over the counter in Texas and lawful to carry a concealed handgun with a permit.

So if you're going to Texas you might want to make your intentions toward strangers clear at all times.

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Tony Parker Blows Up The Spot

Unbeknownst to most of the United States until this week, Tony Parker has a French language rap single that has charted back in France. The song is titled "Balance Toi", but I can't find an English translation of the lyrics. The video below is for a song called "Top Of The Game" and features American rapper Fabolous. He tries to be a little tougher in this video, but its still French so it doesn't work out all that well. Its also more of a collaboration between multiple rappers, so Tony P only gets like one verse.

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SNL

In the past month or so SNL has made what seems to be a concerted effort not to suck. Of course I gave up on it back in about November, but luckily NBC and YouTube have come to an agreement whereby we all can see what we've been missing. You see NBC, after watching some of this, people might make an active attempt to give your shows a second chance. The clips are pretty self explanatory, but Peyton Manning was the host this past weekend, Chris Rock hosted the weekend before in conjunction with his movie I Think I Love My Wife, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus was some time before that.

Peyton Manning for NFL and The United Way.

An excellent Dora the Explorer spoof.

Chris Rock's SNL intro skit. Its great to hear him back at some stand up comedy material and maybe this is because its SNL, but it doesn't seem like he's really that into it. Its really well written and all that, but his delivery seems a little reluctant.

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Maury Povich

If you're out there and you've worked on the Maury Povich show, I need to know a few things. Is this sh-t real? Are the people coached in any way before the take the stage? Honestly this clip is classic Maury. It has hysterical parent, the the weird little intro video where a teenage girl makes outrageous claims complete with unneccessary camera zooms and twists, hostile crowd and genuine "you don't know me" shouting.This clip even inspired this photoshop effort on Fark.

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The Giant Octopus

I'm no marine biologist, but somehow I could have told you this was a possibility. If you don't like octopi, this video isn't for you. I don't plan on swimming for a while, which is the only reason I can handle this. Also, did you know the octopuses and octopi are both accepted plural forms of octopus?

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OJ Mayo

For a while OJ Mayo has been the next big thing in high school basketball. I first heard about him when LeBron James was making waves and getting ready for the NBA. But OJ Mayo is a little bit more of a head case. In the past two years or so he's had three suspensions, including one for bumping a ref after getting his second technical foul. Then there is the ridiculously bizarre circumstances that will land him at USC next fall. Basically he called USC coach Tim Floyd out of the blue and said "I want to go to your school" and then faxed his letter of intent a few days later. Floyd never even bothered considering him because of his high profile and the relative lack of basketball tradition at USC compared with the other schools sure to be recruiting him.

Anyhow the clip above is from the West Virginia AAA state basketball finals. OJ's team is in control of the game and there is over a minute left in the game when this clip starts. Based on what I have already mentioned above, there should be no doubt as to which player he is in the clip.

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Randomness

Just listen to the one guy that says "She landed so well, look how long she's been under". Brilliant logic there doofus. NSFW language.


The fact that her mom corrects her is negated by the fact that mom then uploaded this to the internet.

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Obviously Not A Cat Person

I don't know if you know anything about cats, but I like them so I'll give you a few tips. They warn you before they freak out. That noise you hear from the cat when they throw it live to the news reporter means "dude, seriously its time to let go of me. I'm really starting to get pissed off". I don't care if you have a live segment to run, that noise means back off and give the little guy some space. Of course Kathleen Cochrane is determined to get her story. Listen to how bad her voice is shaking afterwards.

And for good measure, the classic "Pinky the cat is up for adoption" video. Pinky gives a little less of the verbal warning and goes for the more demonstrative "Get the f--- off me" method. I probably would have just let go of the leash. Pinky would have come back sooner or later. Props to Pinky for quickly gaining the upper hand in his attack.

Once again, local news for the win.

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Happy St. Patty's Day

I will post this every March for as long as I update this blog.

The sad part is that I have this song on my iPod. Two versions. Seriously.

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Am I A Psychopath?

Honestly I need to know your opinion on this. Happy Feet pisses me off. I haven't ever seen it, nor do I ever want to. But for some reason the thought of that movie or a clip from it, or even a picture of one of those CGI penguins just annoys the hell out of me. If I were an actor and I needed to generate some Mel Gibson "Give me back my son" anger, I would just pretend that some Happy Feet penguins were behind everything.

Why did I bring this up? Probably because I am a (currently) dormant psychopath.

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Joakim Noah

I never thought I'd be able to accurately explain my intense dislike for Florida's Joakim Noah. Leave it to Joakim Noah to take care of that on his own, thus perpetuating my hatred.

Speaking of terrible NCAA Tournament related dances, check out Al Maguire from the John Wallace era of Syracuse basketball (1998?).

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This Is Why You Suck

Dave if you read this, its nothing personal. Its just a catchy song. The language is NFSW though.

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More Local Television

Last week it was that awful furniture commercial. This week its the Sleep Center Of The Southwest.

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Super Paper Mario

There has been somewhat of a drought in Wii games since I got mine. I don't consider it to be a big deal because I don't plan on spending $100 a month on games or anything. But this week Tiger Woods 2007 comes out for the Wii and I have high expectations based on what EA Sports did for Madden 2007. Then today I was over on Kotaku and saw a walkthrough for Super Paper Mario which looks phenomenal. So I am posting it here. Be warned, the nerd factor is a little high on this one.

Not to be outdone, there is an official Brunswick Pro Bowling set to come out on the Wii. I am not sure what all that entails, but I am stunned that not only am I considering picking it up, I am actually looking forward to possibly owning two bowling games. A year ago that would have been unthinkable. Its too bad that its pretty much a certainty that Brunswick Pro Bowling won't have online play.

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Spring Break

A dance contest at a college spring break.

And the reverse angle. Let us all appreciate the magical healing powers of alcohol.

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Reign Over Me

So originally I started this entry to rip on this new Adam Sandler/Don Cheadle movie Reign Over Me. Here is the gist of the movie from Wikipedia and IMDB:.

"Reign Over Me is a 2007 film examining the aftermath of the September 11, 2001 attacks through the eyes of a fictional character, played by Adam Sandler, who lost his family on that Tuesday morning."

That description and the television ad I keep seeing (but can't find online right now) do a tremendous disservice to the movie in my opinion. But I didn't think that five minutes ago. I was all set to complain about the possibility that we might be getting setup for 10-15 years of mediocre New York based dramas playing off the aftermath of 9/11. But after seeing the full length trailer (above), where there is no mention of that at all and reading this description on Yahoo! Movies:

Two former college roommates Charlie Fineman and Alan Johnson run into each other years later and rekindle their friendship. Charlie, who recently lost his wife and children, has retreated from his life, while Alan is overwhelmed by his family and professional responsibilities. Their chance meeting becomes a lifeline for Charlie and Alan, both of whom are in need of a trusted friend at this pivotal moment in their lives.

I am actually thinking this might not be a half bad movie. Depending on where you look for information you see somewhat conflicting descriptions of the movie, which makes me think that the producers were unsure exactly how to market it. I wouldn't even think twice about seeing the movie they're advertising on television. But the one in this trailer at least merits some consideration.

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Madrid Airport Bomb

Do you remember back in August when a bomb in the parking garage at Madrid's international airport went off? I kept forgetting to post this, but that car video reminded me of it. Check out how lucky these people are, captured on an airport security camera.

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Under The Influence

I don't think this can be classified as a DUI. I am sure he had additional charges in this incident, but I am pretty much speechless. The driver's name is Stephen Lowe, and this took place in Augusta, Georgia.

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The Price Is Right

I think this gets better every time you watch it. Imagine the year 3000. Rather than requiring you to be in the studio audience, The Price Is Right uses a matter transporter that allows you to "come on down" from the comfort of your living room. Now imagine young Benjamin and his hippie friends getting smoked out in their college dorm room just seconds before this all goes down. The result is captured here in this video clip. The second time you watch it turn the volume up (if you can) and play close attention to how much he bids on the showcase.

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So I Think I Can Dance

With some clever use of the fast forward button and the right musical selection in the editing room I think I could be made to look like a decent dancer. Basically I think I could be in this video.

Also, you're welcome.

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All Clear For Takeoff...?

Why are helicopter accidents so intriguing? Of all the things on a pre-flight checklist, I would think stationary buildings would be the least of your concerns, but I'd be wrong.

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Tracy Morgan

Drew, this one is for you dude. I don't watch 30 Rock, but from the pilot episode that I saw, this is pretty much the character he plays on the show. Which leads to wonder if he is even acting. I am severely disappointed that the host didn't bring up Brian Fellows.

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It's Just Like, It's Just Like... A Mini Mall

This might be the terrible local commercial to end all terrible commercials. ♩"Used Car Motor Mall... the dealer that haasssssssss it all!!"♩ is one of our worst ones, but it can't get into my head like this one. Thanks Lindsay, for sending me this link. I am off to try to drown this song out of my head with my iPod.

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Hey Look At Me, I'm John Stupid Locke

Honestly last night's episode totally baffled me. Locke and his f***ing computer chess. Really? Sayid and Kate are getting their asses kicked in the next room and Locke can't pull himself away from computer chess until after they have the guy subdued? Sayid finds a house wired with C4 and Locke finds that the computer clearly has some sort of intruder alert response and they both fail to discuss this? What did Locke think was going to happen when he pushed 77 because "intruders have taken control of the property"? Here's the other thing, at some point are the other survivors ever going to wonder what is going on? Just think of everything that Nikki and Paolo have missed out on, along with the other nameless faces. Hatches galore, cows, beef, satellites, a van, a whole other camp, those huge feet statues, a second island. In the series finale I want Jack, Sawyer, Locke, Sayid and Kate to sit down and just tell everyone else:

"while you were having your ping pong tournament and making your garden, I almost got dragged to my death by a smoke monster, killed a polar bear, watched some TV in a couple different hatches, visited the second island, ate a hamburger and a grilled cheese sandwich, drank some iced tea, saw a horse, played some computer chess and oh yeah, the Red Sox won the world series a week after we crashed."

Locke: "One more thing, I forgot to mention that I couldn't walk before I got here".

Honestly those people could not be more out of touch. Would it be too much start including them in missions like the redshirts on Star Trek? They could have easily had some cows, satellites to work on (since Sayid fancies himself a tech guy) and refrigeration if Locke weren't an inexplicable douche or one more person were around to second guess his stupid decisions. If I had to vote right now, I'd vote John Locke for Least Valuable Survivor.

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Teletubbies

If I were in control of MTV I would immediately look into adapting this idea into a late night music video block. The music is a little NSFW.

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The iPhone Ad

Dear Apple,
I get it. In June you are going to release a $600 phone with a $100 a month plan that I'll want but can't afford. It'll get like 4 hours of battery life during non-phone usage, but nobody will care because it looks cool. I am not going to buy it, so please stop advertising during my favorite programs. Either that or make a 15 second version so I don't have to hear 8,000 "hellos" during every third commercial break.

While we're here, I'd like to bash this guy in the face with a baseball bat.

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Hit By Pitch?

I suppose once you go down that road, you've got to sell it all the way. Still I'd hate to be Brian Walker at the next Arkansas basbeball film session.

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The Super Bowl Fallout

The Smoking Gun has obtained copies of some FCC complaints regarding this year's Super Bowl broadcast on CBS. There is nothing quite like hyperbole and gross overreactions to give me a good laugh:

#1
"During Prince's rendition of Purple Rain, which I think is really great song, there seemed to be a shadow puppet of his (penis). The sheet? That was the backdrop seemed to (stained?) with something (semen?). My children were watching, and now I have to explain to them what a wet spot is on a cum covered sheet. Thanks CBS."

#2
How can you show Prince at the half time show doing what he did???? How could that not be censored??? Tell me it was not meant to be what it depicted! A cloth with him silhouetted behind it with a guitar that very much looked like an enlarged engorged penis! And him stoking (sic) it!!! And this is supposed to be better than an "accidental" tenth of a second glimpse and you miss it of her breast, but a long drawn out show of simulated masturbation is ok??!!!

#3
It was obscene to show Prince, a HOMOSEXUAL person through a sheet, as to show his silluette (sic) while his guitar showed a very phallic symbol coming from his below-midriff section. I am very offended and I would prefer not to have showed it to my 4 children who love football. One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay. I am actually considering checking him for HIV. Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY.

#5
I find it highly unacceptable to have a family watching a sporting event only to find Prince stroking, manipulating and fondleing (sic) his guitar behind the curtain. This image only made him look extremely large which made the rest of us feel small, and unable to preform (sic) this evening.

#7
The Snickers Bar commercial promoting homosexual behavior was disgraceful, also the giant shadow "phallus" from Prince's guitar was equally disgraceful, this behavior has no place in a prime time major family event. It was easier explaining to the kids about Jackson's boob being exposed, than explaining the pro homosexual theme of this year's event. We will never watch live again, only on TiVo, with the half time filth show cut out. It's pathetic when you can't keep porn out of the Super Bowl, just because 6% of the population is gay.

#8 (this is a long one, so I'll just take excerpts)
I was watching the Super Bowl on CBS when I unfortunately found myself watching a commercial for the candy bar "Snickers"...(goes on to describe the ad)... Suddenly the second redneck mechanic leans over and starts chewing on the other end of this phallic object, like two lovers might eat a banana together. Their lips meet, their tongues obviously entwine... at that point I turned it off, thoroughly disgusted and offended.... God knows, I didn't turn on the Super Bowl expecting to be tricked into watching gay sex! Or any sex...

In case you have forgotten, here is the commercial:


For whatever reason the line "like two lovers might eat a banana" jumps out at me. Have you ever seen two people eat a banana at the same time from opposite ends? Ever? Seriously. I have nothing more to add.

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Cavemen

Now this is an idea I can get behind. Joe Lawson, of Geico commercial fame, is writing a sitcom for ABC based on the lives of three 30 something cavemen living in present day Atlanta. At this point there is not much more detail to the show, such as will the actual Geico cavemen actors play the characters on the show? Lawson also created the Tiny House reality spoof ad for Geico, so I think this show might have some legs.

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Emo On The Local News

How is it that any local newscast can make something relatively normal and make it sound like a circus freak bonanza. Maybe they are right and I am old, but this news report seems so ridiculous that I couldn't help but just laugh at it.

But not to be outdone is this Chicago area local news show attempts what has to be world record for terrible segues, inappropriate comments and laughter in a single broadcast. Hands down the best part of this clip is:

Bruce Wolf: "Fat boy, wasn't that the name of the atomic bomb?"
Ellee Pai Hong: *disgusted sigh*

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Roadmaster Rear Deck Scrolling Digital Message System

I haven't done a tech post in a while, so here goes. This is the RRDS100 - Rear Deck Scrolling Digital Message System. Mount this on your car (presumably in the back window) and use it communicate clearly with strangers in other cars. The unit comes with 99 preprogrammed messages and the ability to load five custom messages of your own and ten "speed dial" slots where you can string together preprogrammed phrases that are less than 80 characters. Among the more humorous and helpful preprogrammed phrases on the RRDS100 are:

02. Everybody is entitled to my opinion
03. Forget about world peace ... Visualize using your turn signal
05. I brake for no apparent reason
08. If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you
31. Back off
35. Dim your lights
53. Your lights aren’t working
54. Zebra x’ing ahead

Its like an escalated road rage incident in a box. The RRDS also gives you the ability to adjust the brightness and scroll speed for your display, assuring your messages get maximum visibility and reading comprehension. Roadmaster also enabled a word filter to prevent blatant profanity from being displayed, but not to worry it doesn't block it. It just uses ** to display characters. So your "**** You ***hole" will still come across loud and clear. The RRDS also has some messages for stationary uses such as a business or an office building.

It retails for $59.99.

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Lost Season 3 Ep 10: Tricia Tanaka Is Dead

So I was confused by last night's episode of Lost. Not because anything complicated happened. We basically had a filler episode with the whole car thing and Hurley's interesting but inconsequential back story. The Asian reporter, Tricia Tanaka, was bit of a weird choice for a name. Evidently the writers are unaware of Family Guy or they are really huge fans of it.

So here is my issue with the end result of the episode. I swear at either the beginning of this season or at the end of the last season Rousseau was well aware of a teenage girl named Alex being amongst "the others". So last night's revelation by Kate seemed completely redundant. The problem is I can't put my finger on when it happened or who was involved, so part of me thinks it has just been super obvious to the viewers for a while now but the characters have never discussed it. Does any of that sound right to you? I know they can't hit a home run every episode, but there has to be some kind of middle ground.

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